


Hold Me Tight, Don't Let Me Breathe.

by OnlyHereForGallavich (orphan_account)



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Cancer, Gallavich, Hurt/Comfort, Immortality, M/M, No Smut, Serious Illness, Sick!Mickey, Supernatural - Freeform, Supernatural Elements, Vampire!Ian, Vampires, turning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-16
Updated: 2017-05-16
Packaged: 2018-11-01 12:02:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10921416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/OnlyHereForGallavich
Summary: Ian is a vampire, and Mickey is a human. Ian is forced to face the reality of Mickey's mortality, but then he doesn't.





	Hold Me Tight, Don't Let Me Breathe.

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Night Life](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10621683) by [devovitsuasartes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/devovitsuasartes/pseuds/devovitsuasartes). 



> hellooo I'm not sure what this is... so yeah. Enjoy? ENJOY!
> 
> happy ending don't worry!!
> 
> chapter title from Firefly by Ed Sheeran
> 
> the idea of Ian being immortal and risking losing Mickey is inspired by the (brilliant) fic 'Night Life' by devovitsuasartes
> 
> x

    It wasn't easy to be a vampire who was also a doctor. The irony of Ian’s occupation was not lost on him. Nor on his family who- once they stopped walking around his... _condition_ on eggshells- had formed a large repertoire of jokes based around the same. But despite the irony and humour, there he was. It wasn’t easy. Fuck knows it was the hardest thing sometimes, to be surrounded by blood, fighting everything in him that ordered him to take advantage of the situation. Ian’s childhood dream had been to be a doctor, and he had nearly given up on it when he had been bitten. The idea of still pursuing his dream made him laugh, and not in a good way. But Ian Clayton Gallagher was nothing if not stubborn, and he was not going to let something like his entire genetic makeup being reconfigured and his new thirst for a certain red liquid deter him. Med school had been a huge investment for the Gallaghers, even on scholarship, because it meant there were now only two family members who actually worked full time- Fiona and Carl. Yes, Carl was a drug dealer, but Ian felt inclined to let it pass as an income. It brought in a hell of a lot more revenue than Fiona’s honest-to-God waitressing job. Ian was determined not to let his family down. So he studied and persevered and used a host of nasal blockage products to resist as best he could. Despite his restraint, Ian knew better than to work as a surgeon. So he had ended up in the emergency room, and fuck, did he love it.

 

     It was in that emergency room that Ian had met the love of his life, and fellow South Side escapee- Mickey Milkovich. Well, Mikhailo, according to his medical records, but that was a name Ian avoided for the sake of his own safety. Mickey was not a fan of his original name; not at all. When Ian had first lay eyes on Mickey, he had been brought into the emergency room by the police after a bar fight went wrong and he got shot. It wasn't till later, months after Ian had steeled himself for rejection and asked the boy out for a drink, that Mickey revealed to him that the man who had shot him was his father. It had made Ian angry, angry enough that he had considered killing Terry as part of his next meal. Ian didn’t drink to kill, usually just going to clubs for people _like him_ and drinking from willing participants, but he considered it then. He even told Mickey about his idea. (Yes, Mickey knew about his... change. And no, he had not believed for two weeks. Until one day Ian missed a meal too many and his fangs came out to play while they were having sex. No, Ian had not bitten Mickey. And he didn't intend to either.) Mickey had said, and Ian could quote, his father ‘wasn’t worth the trouble’ and ‘would taste like dog shit’.

 

     Mickey Milkovich was beautiful. Ian had noticed it straight up, right after he flipped his head around the moment he had scented his addictive, cocoa scent when he had first been wheeled into the hospital. This wasn't a fucking romance novel, so it wasn't like Mickey was the only person who had ever smelled good to Ian. Every now and then, someone he passed on the street would smell so damn good, he had to make his escape quickly. But Mickey, _jesus,_ he was a whole other level of delicious. That combined with the blue eyes, quick grin and sharp mouth; Ian loved him before he knew him.  And after he knew him, god, Ian could spend whole nights just lying awake tracing the boy next to him with his eyes and wondering what exactly he had done right to find this piece of heaven in their shitty ass world.

 

    Yes, Mikhailo Aleksander Milkovich was beautiful. But he was also undeniably, completely, _heartbreakingly_ human. Right now, when Mickey was young and healthy, it was easy to ignore that sometimes; to pretend that the only difference between them lay in their choice of drink. But Ian knew, from watching older (yet still completely youthful looking) vampires around him at the vamp clubs, that there would one day be entire lifetimes separating them. Mickey had one life; a good fifty to sixty years left till he would lose it. Ian, well, Ian had eternity.

 

    They didn't really talk about it; how did you have a conversation with the person you loved about the way you would inevitably lose them? How did you lie next to them, _knowing_ sooner than later you would have to let go? Other couples could hope for their own limited forever; to spend their lives together. But for them- it was so _final._ It was the kind of final that kept Ian in denial and staying up whole nights to try and fathom the pain, as if to save him some part of all the grief that would come later. He knew Mickey hated it, the idea of Ian young, while he would look like an old man next to him. Ian wishes he could convince Mickey that he would always be just as beautiful to him.

 

 

    They learn to live around it; that distant threat of death shoved away from their minds in favour of calm, happy days. It was nice to pretend, to convince themselves that they were like any other couple they passed on the street. Until they got the diagnosis.

 

 

    Ian was pretty sure Mickey hadn’t meant for him to find out; would’ve avoided it if Ian hadn’t insisted on going to the doctor’s with him. But Ian _had_ been there and he _had_ found out and everything had changed. Death wasn't a distant threat anymore. The cancer would take Mickey from him in _six months, if they were lucky._

Lucky?! _Lucky?!_ Ian would have punched the doctor on his fucking face if it weren’t for Mickey holding his hand. _Six months._ It was enough to have Ian dry heaving, both due to nausea and grief, as soon as they left. His being a vampire had stolen from him all his human ability to puke and cry. He could only curl up, gasping, unable to find any release for everything he was feeling. Mickey stayed silent, stoic, trying to comfort Ian and Ian was so mad at himself because Mickey was _dying_ and _he_ was the breaking down. “It’s not fair,” Ian cried, dry sobs releasing from his throat, “We were supposed to have sixty years. Sixty fucking years!” Mickey rubbed his back, and it didn't escape Ian’s attention that the other boy’s eyes were wet too, now. To cover it up, Mickey smirked and wetly said, “Fuck off, you wouldn’t’ve wanted me when I was old and wrinkly and grey.”

 

   “I’d always want you.”

 

   “So fuckin’ gay, man.”

 

    “Always.”

 

 

///

 

 

    Mickey gets weaker after a while, and no longer accompanies Ian when he goes to feed. It was rare event even before, but now it was a complete no-no. So Ian goes and drowns his feelings the way one would normally do with alcohol, but with blood instead. Then he sits in front of Stan, his favourite bartender, and cries as best he can without any tears. And then Stan suggests something that makes Ian perk up. Ian had already, in the two months since the diagnosis, made a tentative plan for after Mickey... _died._ Turns out that out of all the bullshit vampire stories sprouted, the sunlight thing was relatively true, as were the ornate rings that protected them from it he had once seen parodied in some show Debs was watching once. Ian had a ring on his finger, but after Mickey was gone, he had already planned on taking that ring off and going into the brilliant sun. It would hurt his family, so much, and Ian wished he could spare them. But life without Mickey was... unfathomable. He had seen plenty of empty, soulless vampires in the club who had lost their mortal loves. Ian refused to be among them.

 

   His mind was made up; but Stan’s proposition intrigued him.

 

 

///

 

 

    When Ian returned to their apartment just past two, Mickey was already curled up, asleep in their bed. He looked so _cute_ and every time Ian looked at him, he was reminded of exactly why he was ready to give up his eternal life to be with Mickey in death. He wouldn’t really be giving much up at all.

 

   “Mickey,” Ian whispered, bending next to Mickey’s ear. He felt criminal for waking the sleeping boy, but he couldn’t contain himself. The sleeping boy groaned, annoyed. “Mick, how would you feel about- about being with me forever?” The blue eyes snapped open, and trapped Ian’s own. “ _What?”_ he asked, disbelieving. “I just... you wouldn’t be sick anymore if I turned you. And I’m sorry, I know it’s fucking selfish but I can’t be without you. _Please._ I ain’t right without you.”

 

    Mickey didn't respond verbally, but he pulled Ian down to lay next to him.

 

    And a week later, when they had talked and talked and Ian had made sure that _Mickey_ was sure, he sunk his fangs into his lover’s waiting neck as they fucked, slow and deep. Turns out Ian _would_ bite Mickey after all. (Mickey tasted just as beautiful as he smelled. But _that_ was something that was Ian’s alone.)

 

    After the bite, Mickey had fallen into the odd trance like state that took over those who were being turned. He snapped out of it soon, just a day. (Ian should have known Mickey would be a strong one. His baby was a tough little thug muffin.) When he woke up, Ian had gotten them two brand new sunlight- protection rings. Matching, made of ornate, dark silver. To the world they looked like engagement rings. To the boys themselves, they were a sign of the bond between them. And even though Mickey was no longer weighed down by his illness, they moved as if in slow motion for a few days, just savouring each other.

 

    After all, they had all the time in the world.


End file.
